The Misadventures of Club Penguin, Season 1
by B'Russ Fics
Summary: Welcome to the island of Club Penguin that we all know and love! Everything works out just fine and dandy in Club Penguin! Right? Well think again when you read these terrible tales of misadventures! The Misadventures of Club Penguin to be exact! Season 1 is Rated Fiction K plus for slapstick violence, mild crude humor, and for modified and implied language. Suitable for 10 and up.
1. Episode 1 RPG launchers solve anything

** Episode 1: When life gives you lemons, take out your RPG launcher.**

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><p>One day a penguin named Batman24614, preferably Daniel. Was directing a play called "The Penguins that Time Forgot". He was excited to do his normal job as a director because he's never directed The Penguins that Time Forgot before. They were doing a rehearsal the day before the play. He waddled out of his car and into the stage. Then put on his director cap and waddled onto the director chair.<p>

"Okay, okay, settle down people! We need to start now." Daniel shouted through the megaphone, interrupting all the chattering actors.

"EWW! What is that-" An actor named Barty McUgliface tried to say before having his beak covered by another actor named Ashley Blake, she then took her flipper off his beak. "I mean.. Good outfit!"

"Nice save…" Ashley quietly muttered sarcastically.

"Thank you. I thought I would choose to look more official." Daniel said as he fixed his black tie with white polkadots.

Daniel was wearing a typical business suit with a megaphone, and a suitcase. The only weird part is that the shirt underneath the suit coat is very pink with some yellow polkadots, Daniel didn't notice though because he accidentally spilled his orange juice into his eyes and couldn't open them until he got into his car. The new attire unsurprisingly looked very, very ugly with the director hat.

"I almost threw up all my organs just taking a glimpse at him." Rookie said as he avoided all eye contact with Daniel, holding his stomach.

"What?" Daniel asked Rookie.

"Oh, nothing… Nothing at all…" Rookie replied blushing a little bit.

"Okay, well. You all know your roles. Take it from the top! Aaand, action!" Daniel shouted through the megaphone.

"Time to try out this new Tardis One-million bajillion!" Rookie said after trying to memorize his script.

"Cut! Rookie, seriously? What made you think of that?" Daniel said, putting down the megaphone after Daniel said "Cut".

"I couldn't remember! Plus that's basically what it is…" Rookie said in his defense.

"Well remember, it's TIME, TRAVEL, 1000. Remember that. Okay?" Daniel asked.

"I swear on your ugly suit. I will get it right." Rookie said.

"How is my suit ugly?" Daniel asked, raising his brow area. As penguins don't have eyebrows.

"I meant to say I swear on my hatred of One Direction. Sorry for misspeaking that." Rookie lied.

"Okay, good. Action!" Daniel shouted through the megaphone.

"Time to try out this new Time Travel 1000!" Rookie said with spirit.

"Good, good, good." Daniel muttered.

The time machine, which was a cardboard box, opened up because Daniel's brother, Pete, pressed the Open/Close button. Then Rookie crawled into the machine before the doors shut. So then Pete flipped a lever which sent down a new background. It sent down a picture of One Direction.

"Whoops! That wasn't supposed to happen." Pete said with an embarrassed face.

"Okay, who even put that in the set?" Daniel asked through the megaphone.

Barty then threw up when he looked at the set behind him.

"Yuck! What are those!?" Ashley exclaimed about the picture behind her.

"Umm.. I have a confession to make…" Rookie said as his flippers fiddled around with each other.

"What did you do..?" Daniel said with a suspicious look on his face after the others turned around slowly.

"I don't really hate One Direction… So.. I put it there…" Rookie said feeling tense.

"Why you.. ROCK! I love One Direction! I got them to sign my megaphone! Oh my gosh!" Daniel exclaimed as he stretched open the megaphone to expose the letters spelling "One Direction hates me.".

Then everyone went silent and stared at Daniel.

"What are you all looking at? Oh well. Send down the right picture Pete!" Daniel shouted into the megaphone.

"Yes, ma'am!" Pete responded before flipping a lever.

Then a prehistoric background fell over the giant One Direction photo.

"Action!" Daniel shouted in the megaphone.

"_I just hate my roll… Why the hail did I sign up for this?_" Ashley thought.

"I SAID ACTION!" Daniel screamed into the megaphone, noticing that Ashley dozed off.

"UGG! DINO! UGG!" Ashley shouted as a cave penguin. "_I just hate my caveman outfit! What caveman ever had a bone sticking through their green hair? I guess if a land of anthropomorphic penguins exist, then anything can happen…_"

"What is this place? Where am I?" Rookie asked.

"GRUB! GRUB GRUB!" Barty shouted.

"I'm in a Grub? What's a Grub!?" Rookie wondered.

"LAVA! LAVA!" Ashley shouted.

"Lava?! COOL! I've never seen lava before!" Rookie exclaimed.

"Cut! That wasn't your line Rookie!" Daniel said through the megaphone.

"What!? I've never seen lava! I wanna touch it…" Rookie said.

"I wish you did.." Barty muttered.

"Well, please get the line correct this time." Daniel said.

"Aright." Rookie said.

"Okay, good. Action!" Daniel shouted.

"Lava!? I've gotta get out of here!" Rookie exclaimed.

Rookie ran to the time machine and tried to open it, when Pete pressed the button, he got in. Then the time machine exploded, and then Rookie turned black from all the soot and ash.

"Oh nice! Why you stupid *BEEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP BEEEP BEEP BEEP-*" Rookie said before getting cut off.

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><p><strong>*TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY*<strong>

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><p>Then Rookie had two bars of soap in his beak as his head was under a running faucet.<p>

"I'M SO SORRY GUYS! AHHH AHHHH!" Rookie screamed in a muffled voice.

After that, Rookie got back on stage to act again.

"_Oh, crab. I forgot my line. Nice going, me. I'll just go with it._" Rookie thought. "Ahem, to fish, or not to fish. That is the question."

"Rookie.. If you make one more mistake, I'll blow you up with this rocket launcher." Daniel said holding up an RPG launcher.

"Is that legal?" Rookie asked.

"Umm… Don't ask questions. Just do your rehearsal already." Daniel replied.

"No! I'm not going to take any more of your pushiness!" Rookie exclaimed, obviously threatening to leave.

"Do you want your signed Justin Bieber album, or not?" Daniel asked holding up Justin Bieber's latest album.

"HAIL YEAH! COUNT ME IN!" Rookie yelled.

"Then do your acting." Daniel said.

"Okay!" Rookie said before preparing to say his line.

"Great, now I'm stuck in some place called Grub!" Rookie finally said correctly.

"Good job Rookie!" Daniel exclaimed, just to give Rookie some encouragement.

And then, another actor who was playing the role of Tiki ran from backstage, and onto the set. But when he got there, he tripped on a rock and fell into a river of lava.

"What!? How did the set not burn down? And who was the genius that put lava into the set?" Barty asked out loud.

"Umm.. I wanted some realism so I hired some miners to put lava into this set…" Daniel confessed.

"What happened to Carl?" Barty asked.

"Well duh, he evaporated! See the steam coming from the lava? Most of that is his evaporated body." Daniel explained. "Are you okay dude?" Daniel asked the vapor.

The vapor shook its head area in disagreement.

"Well we'll get you to Gary to put you back to your original form. Okay?" Daniel said.

The cloud nodded with excitement. So Daniel grabbed a box, waddled over to the cloud, and shut it into the plastic box. He asked his sister, Penny, who was working with Pete on The Switchbox 3000, to take the box to Gary. So she left on her way to the Everyday Phoning Facility, carrying the box of vapor.

"Anyway, now you're next action is to do a triple-backflip over the river of lava." Daniel told Barty.

"Isn't that against the Club Penguin Safety Code?" Barty asked.

"Uh… Just do it!" Daniel replied.

"No. I'd rather keep my living body then get you arrested for safety violation… Scratch that last part." Barty said.

"Then I have no other choice…" Daniel replied as he took out an RPG launcher.

"No. It can't be." Barty replied in fear.

"Yes. I will have to. So do a triple backflip, or I use your feathers as a new ingredient in McDonalds burgers." Daniel threatened.

"Uh… NOPE, GOODBYE!" Barty said immediately before running backstage.

Then Daniel ran backstage with his RPG launcher to catch Barty. Then Ashley ran backstage to stop Daniel. Finally, Barty ran into a corner by accident, and fell backwards. Daniel then lifted his RPG launcher, until Ashley grabbed Daniel's RPG launcher, and tried to pull it away. Then they just did a tug of war.

"It's mine!" Daniel exclaimed.

"Is it even legal to own an RPG launcher here!?" Ashley asked.

"No questions please!" Daniel replied.

Then both of them accidentally pulled the trigger, and sure enough, orange and white feathers flew everywhere. His beak, eyes and feet were the only pieces of Barty that were intact.

"Oh my cod! You killed Barty! You beartard!" Both of them yelled to each other.

Ashley chased Daniel out of the backstage room, then out of The Stage entrance, then all the way to the Ski Village. Finally Daniel ran into a Team Blue prep.

"Oh My Fabulousness! You Sicko! You Are Too Not-Special For My Fabulousness! It Just Ain't My Way! No No!" The prep said in the normal prep-typing as she smacked Daniel repeatedly with her makeup kit until Daniel was knocked out cold.

"I- I- hate y- you too. Bleh…" Daniel stuttered before going unconscious.

Then Gary waddled out of the Everyday Phoning Facility holding a needle full of green liquid. Gary then accidentally dropped the needle. It fell and stabbed Daniel.

"OW!" Daniel said as he jolted up. "Wait. Why is a needle stuck up my head?" Daniel asked

"Oops, I seemed to have dropped my needle of lethal poison. My bad." Gary shrugged.

"Oh, fish." Daniel said.

"But if you die. I have a confession to make." Gary said.

"What?" Daniel asked.

"Have you been acting really stupid lately? With the side effect of grumpiness?" Gary asked.

"No, wait… Oh dude! You used me as a test subject without my permission!" Daniel exclaimed in realization. "It was long ago.. In the ancient times of last weak…

_Flashback…_

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><p>"I was just visiting the EPF Command Room, when you asked me…"<p>

"Hello. Would you like to try out this new chemical I invented that causes people to be incredibly stupid?" Gary asked.

"No thanks. I'm busy with a bunch of other stuff. I have no time to be stupid. Anyways, if this goes wrong. I don't want to get you sued again for the same thing that you did to Miley Cyrus." Daniel declined.

"Suit yourself." Gary replied.

"Goodbye! Try not to blow it up!" Daniel said a second before his face turned black with soot in a loud "BOOM". "Codnabit…" Daniel muttered.

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><p><em>End of flashback…<em>

"… So what do you have to say about that?" Daniel asked.

"Oh. I was running with that needle, and it stuck into Rookie's beak. Ever since then, he tried to put cereal into the ground and grow donuts." Gary explained.

"Then what happened to me?" Daniel asked.

"The terribly ugly suit your wearing was owned by Vladimir Putin. And someone stole it. Since then, it was discovered that Putin's personality cursed it. And I sold it on Ebay. My apologies. Oh and that lethal poison was actually supposed to turn your feathers a hot pink." Gary explained

Daniel then cocked his RPG launcher.

"Fish…" Gary said.

The next thing that happens is an explosion that destroys all of Club Penguin. The end.

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><p><strong>So what do you guys think? Should I make this a comedy series? I will strive to improve and make longer episodes. And one more thing. Should Barty McUgliface be a recurring character? I know he died but who needs logic in a comedy show. Thanks for reading! It means a lot to me. Be sure to review if you want. Be respectful, and constructive criticism is ENCOURAGED. Goodbye! :D (P.S. Anything that sounded offensive in this story is merely a playful joke.)<strong>


	2. Author's Note

p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 11px; font-family: Helvetica; -webkit-text-stroke-color: #000000; -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"strongSorry I haven't updated! The chapters were supposed to come out every week but I had a severe case of writer's block. You should see next chapter in a day or two. I promise. Sorry for the wait. *Two people clap*. But seriously though. You will see a new chapter. Hang in there Jones!/strongstrong (Hopefully you get that joke)./strong/p 


	3. Episode 2, Robbery Gone Wrong

**Episode 2: Robbery Gone Wrong**

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><p>One day, Aunt Arctic was wandering around the Town to get ideas for her next article in The Club Penguin Times. When all the sudden, she saw three robbers burst into the Coffee Shop. The first one was black, the second was red and the third was yellow.<p>

"Oh look! Something else to write about!" Aunt Arctic exclaimed before running to the Coffee Shop to peak through it's window.

A few seconds after Aunt Arctic looked into the window, the second robber peaked out the same window, showed her a fluffy fish, which was recently known as a rude gesture in Club Penguin, and shut the curtains.

"That was disappointing and incredibly rude." Aunt Arctic muttered. "I'll just wait for the robbery to finish!"

"You know what to do…" Aunt Arctic whispered in the EPF spy phone.

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><p>"Alright, no more clownin' around mates! We got us a robbery to finish!" The first robber said in an Australian accent.<p>

"What do you want here? I run a coffee shop, not a fishing bank!" The Coffee Shop Barista said to the three robbers.

"We are looking for coffee so we can rob banks- I mean work better at night!" The third robber explained.

"My Coffee is pretty cheap and worth buying. Why not buy it?" The Coffee Shop Barista asked.

"Well, we're robbers. We have to rob all the time. We would buy it, but we're robbers. Sorry mate. We need it badly anyway so we can do cliché sixties comic-bookish robber things." The first robber explained.

"Okay. That's understandable." The Coffee Shop Barista said.

"So should we continue?" The second robber asked the Coffee Shop Barista.

"Okay! We might as well!" The Coffee Shop Barista replied.

"Okay, thanks mate!" The first robber said.

"No problem." The Coffee Shop Barista said with a smile.

"Give us your coffee before I take your apron!" The second robber threatened.

"No! Not my apron! Anything but my apron!" The Coffee Shop Barista yelled dramatically.

"Then give us your coffee!" The first robber exclaimed.

"Go fish yourselves!" The Coffee Shop Barista exclaimed as he threw a fish that came from the coffee truck, it flew into the second robbers face and blew his head into feathers, eyes, and a beak.

"Thanks a lot!" The second robbers beak exclaimed.

"Now you'll get it ya' dirty rat!" The first robber exclaimed as he pulled out a pistol.

Then all of the sudden, Daniel kicked the coffee shop doors open, pulled out a pistol, and shot the other pistol out of the robber's flipper.

"Freeze intruders!" Daniel cried.

Then Pete, Penny, and Ashley fall from the ceiling on ropes and drop from the ropes four feet above the ground.

"The EPF has caught you. Don't attempt to run. If you do-" Daniel said while pacing, and getting interrupted.

"Why not?" The second penguin said right before pulling out a pistol and shooting off Daniel's Spi-Tie.

"How dare you. YOU. YOU DISGRACE! Why my beautiful tie! NOOOOO!" Daniel shouted before falling to his knees and sobbing on his tie. "Why would you be so cruel to a poor little tie!?"

The three robbers decided to try to run away, but Pete tripped and tied them with a blanket.

"NEVER, underestimate the power of a blanket. Ever." Pete stated, as he held his blanked like a hero.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Daniel sobbed as he held the tie, literally crying like a fountain, flooding the Coffee Shop.

"Will you shut the fish up already!" Ashley exclaimed.

"Fine, okay." Daniel said with a sniff. "Wait, why was I crying over a coddarned tie?"

The third robber pulled out a knife and slashed the blanket so they could all escape.

"NOOOOOOO! Why!?" Pete sobbed when the blanket was cut open. "You heartless beartards!"

The robbers dashed towards the door and almost escaped, but instead, Ashley hit them both in the face with a wooden plank, knocking them down. And immediately Duck-Taped the plank to the door. Duck-Tape is the strongest brand of tape known in Club Penguin.

"You have nowhere to go now. Now we can kick your tail back to prison. The EPF will never trip and fall to you pathetic losers! OH FISH!" Ashley shouted as she got tripped and fell because of the second robber who kicked the back of her leg. His head was repaired for no good reason.

"Lets go, lets go!" The second robber exclaimed at he motioned towards the door.

The three robbers dashed towards the door again, and stopped two feet infront of the door. The first robber raised a fire axe to cut the wooden plank, until his axe head fell off from Pete's laser gun.

"Sorry about that." Pete shrugged.

The three robbers pulled out their pistols and aimed towards the four agents. The four agents did the same. In about three seconds, it was a bullet war. Bullets flew everywhere as the Coffee Shop Barista ducked under the desk. The first robber accidentally shot a coffee bean bag on a very high shelf, causing it to rain coffee beans in the Coffee Shop. A bunch of the bullets and beans ended up hitting the door's glass, thus causing it to shatter and rain everywhere. The third robber flew out with Ashley before getting punched repeatedly by Ashley.

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><p>"AHAHAHAHA! DIE ROBBER! BWAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAALAALLAALA-" Ashley screamed with a very devilish laugh right before coughing. "Oh… I shouldn't have done that…" Ashley muttered while looking below her to see a pile of feathers, two eyes, a beak, and some ripped wool from the mask.<p>

"And I would have gotten away with it too! If it weren't for the powers worshiping an evil spirit gave you!" The third robber's beak shouted.

"SHH… Uh please don't tell them I dance around burning shrines to get powers." Ashley said quietly, before putting all the feathers, beak, eyes, and feet into a box.

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><p>Meanwhile, inside the Coffee Shop. Penny, Pete, and Daniel were tied up in a rope, being aimed at.<p>

"Sir?" The second robber asked.

"What?" The first robber replied.

"Why don't we just shoot them already?" The second robber asked.

"Well because, umm… Your right. Okay then! I'm sorry guys. We will have to do this." The first robber said as he lifted his pistol.

"But you know how these stories go! You almost brutally kill us, and then you end up getting brutally killed yourself!" Pete exclaimed.

"Well we will tell you thats not going to happen this time!" The second robber exclaimed. "Wait, we're in a story?"

"Let's just shoot them already!" The first robber exclaimed.

Then all the sudden, Barty McUgliface bashed through the back wall and blew the robbers up with the same RPG that Daniel used.

"And that's what you get for touching my dang espresso maker. Enjoy your life, IN HAIL!" Barty exclaimed after cocking the RPG launcher. "Oh, umm… I didn't know you were here. Hi there!"

"Wait… Didn't you die last time?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah… Umm… I forgot who but I think someone was dancing around this burning shrine and threw redwood sticks into it…" Barty said two seconds before his feathers tuned a hot pink and got struck by lightning. "OW FISH!"

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><p>"And that's what you get for telling them." Ashley said while she was still outside while she was holding a redwood stick in both of her flippers.<p>

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><p>"Well, anyway. Where is my espresso maker?" Barty asked.<p>

They all shrugged.

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><p>Back outside, Ashley saw a pink machine, it was Barty's espresso maker. She did some waving of her redwood stick and muttered some latin words, and then is started dispensing chicken puffles.<p>

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><p>"I hated Barty anyway." Ashley said to herself as she lifted the box of feathers and carried it to the EPF for questioning.<p>

Back in the Coffee Shop, Barty took the thirds robber's fire axe, and cut the ropes by sawing at them with the fire axe.

"Thank you." Penny said before dusting herself off.

"Sure, anytime!" Barty replied

"Wait, what happened to you?" Daniel asked, pointing to Barty's flipper.

Barty looked at his right flipper to see it caught on fire, then he looked at the axe, which was still where it was when the robbers exploded.

"Wait… I forgot to pick up the coddarned thing! AAAHHHHHHH!" Barty screamed as he threw the RPG launcher he was holding.

"I'LL HELP YOU! STAY THERE!" Pete yelled as he grabbed what he thought was a fire extinguisher.

Pete triggered the "fire extinguisher" and then, Barty blew up in flames and set the Coffee Shop on fire.

"Wait, this is your RPG launcher, Daniel!" Pete yelled. "RUN!"

Then the Coffee Shop exploded, and destroyed Club Penguin, again. The end.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! I'm sorry it may have been more crappy this time. It was because I had writer's block. And because I was procrastinating a bit, mostly writer's block. But I promise I will have more chapters, longer chapters, and better chapters. Thank you very much for reading! Goodbye!<strong>

**AgentCatherine: Thank you! I didn't expect people to be this supportive on here. :P**


	4. Yet again, another author's note

**Hello people! Sorry for not updating, my writer's block exceeded my creativity. So I tried to write a new chapter like 2 times, and so far I ended up writing a shallow Michael Bay action scene, and something that was incredibly boring and might be offensive to pookie-lovers. But I promise I'm writing a good chapter this time, and I have something new in store for you next week. So stay tuned! And if you haven't already, check out my profile to find a link to my CP Fanon page where you can check out all the articles I made, and I have 2 OC's on there so far. So check it out! I hope you have a wonderful day, peace out!**


	5. Too many author's notes

**Hey people/penguins! I have an announcement, it's not a good one. I will be discontinuing TMoCP for awhile because I have so much stuff going on, I'm busy with a few tasks, videos (including the new fan fiction trailer that you will see soon...), and other stuff. So I'll be too busy to update for a bit. But you might see a new chapter in the next week or two. Have a good day.**


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